Of Death & Life
March 17, 2009
Do you know what it feels like?
To have life taken away from you in an instant.
To have life given back to you in an instant.
The past month…
I chanced upon many deaths.
Well, not to myself.
I witnessed many accidents on the road.
First, along East Coast Park. A seemingly innocuous stretch of small road. A car upside down four wheels facing the sky stretched across the one-way lane blocking the whole lane. I was car number two in the queue. I didn’t know how to react. For some strange reason, it didn’t occur to me that there would be someone in the car. I think I was caught by surprise. A little shocked. So I reversed. “Hey, stop the car. Let me go down and have a look.” I woke up. “Why didn’t it occur to me that there might be somebody in the car?” “Yes, go down and see what help I can offer.” I went down too. There was a young or middle-aged Malay or Chinese man sitting by the side of the road leaning against the stone seat beside the upside-down car. Lost and dazed but apparently alright. No or slight injury and unscathed. There was no one else in the car. Fortunately. “Are you ok?” “Yes, I dropped my phone in the car.” I tried to search for his phone in the upside-down car. Later I found out, he was searching for his phone while he was driving that resulted in the accident. He looked to the side and lost focus on the front that his car went off-lane, hit the kerb, overcompensated on the steering wheel and landed upside down. This was not death, but a near-death situation.
It reminded me of my own one major car accident two years back. Also escaped unscathed, also near-death, looking death in the face. But not looking for my phone though. Though I did take out my phone from my pocket after the accident happened. When I was still in the car which had landed sideways and thought about who to call to come and save me. Just for a few seconds before I saw smoke coming out from the engine and realised I would have died before anyone could come and save me from my phone call. Either from an explosion or oncoming vehicles crashing into me, I thought. Looking back, it was strange that the first thing I did was unbuckle my seat belt. The second, take out my phone to call for help. Then the third was to kick the windscreen but it failed to break. No, actually the third was to notice that oncoming vehicles which would have crashed into me along the highway had stopped safely, for me. Fourth was to try to open the door from the driver’s side upwards because the car was on its side, but it refused to budge. Fifth was to really be in a state of panic before I saw four uncles outside my car trying to get me out. Sixth was to try to open the door again and it opened this time, maybe because I was calmer after seeing some help. I climbed out of the car safely. Actually, I was glad I didn’t make a phone call to my mum. Because if by the time she would have arrived, I would have been on my way to the hospital in the ambulance for a check-up; and seeing the state of the car which was beyond any sort of shape, airbags all out and only probably due for scrapping, my mum would have fainted on the spot. No one would have thought the driver had any chance of being alive upon seeing the car, not to say totally uninjured with only a small rope burn mark from the seatbelt on the underside of the left arm to show for it.
Second, near Jurong East Central after buying pens from the bookshop. This was a fatal accident, death in the face, death in an instant. Turning out from the side road into the three-lane main road. Approaching it, many Bangladeshi, I assume workers, were crossing the road haphazardly and jaywalking. I thought to myself, “It’s dangerous. Late in the evening. And visibility is poor.” Before I knew it, I saw a Bangladeshi, I assume worker, lying in the middle of the three lanes, motionless, lifeless, fresh blood flowing out from his head forming a puddle around him. A car was stopped further ahead and a lone figure of a man was urgently trying to call for help on his handphone. Probably the driver who had knocked him down, it seemed. There was a commotion. Many of his compatriots gathered around him along the side pavements and walkways. It was supposed to be their offday, his offday, I thought. In a foreign, faraway land, working hard. It was a beautiful Sunday evening, and everything seemed quiet, and back to another week of work the next day. How quickly can life be taken away from one? How in an instant it’s all gone? How is it like to have life taken away from you in an instant? From a loved one in an instant? I couldn’t bear to look. Fortunately, there was no car behind me. I was stuck on the side road for I think ten minutes before I managed to bring myself to drive out to the main road and drive past the dead body, on the first lane right beside it lying in the middle lane. I didn’t look.
Third, I saw two dead cats, squashed along the road. Two separate occasions, two different places, two different days. The first I can’t remember where, the second along Jurong Road. Fourth, I saw a dead bird near my carpark one morning, the same day I saw the second cat. Fifth, I saw a motorcyclist lying face-down on the road and people wrongly trying to drag him up by force, waking him out of his unconsciousness. I was driving past. Only a passer-by. Don’t know what happened to him.
Too many accidents I have witnessed in a matter of days. Too many deaths. Too many coincidences. Too close for comfort. If the first accident I witnessed only reminded me of my own one major accident, the rest that were to follow brought me back to the exact same time and place, and exact same feeling I felt during my own accident:
It was five days after my first Star Awards. High-spirited. Heading for work at 6.20am in the early morning. Still dark. Everything quiet. Still asleep. Going to film in my first period image as “Cowherd” in the drama “Happily Ever After”, going to film with a real cow, so I was very excited. For some unknown reason, I didn’t drive my usual sedan car and decided to drive my “family car”, a huge SUV. Not used to it I suppose. Much higher centre of gravity I suppose. Brake system was different I suppose, from my usual. The road looked dry but deceptively; it was after rain. Then it happened. I stepped on the brake before the curve on the road, which is deceptively steeper than it appears. Braked a little too hard for that car’s liking, I think. Along the PIE towards Changi Airport on the Bukit Timah flyover, my car and me skidded, wheels locked and steering wheel out of control, headed towards the wall railing, luckily didn’t flip over the railing and plunge headlong down the side of the flyover nor hit the railing head-on in one high-impact collision that would have certainly seen the end of us, hit the wall on the front corner of the car, then hit on all the different corners of the car many more times, which caused us to spin many many rounds, before we landed on the passenger side of the car, “Thud!”
I remember when my car and me headed furiously and uncontrollably towards the railing what I said. Four-letter word, followed by another four-letter word. “xoxo, I’m dead!” The first I can’t say, the second is “dead”. And no, there was no sudden recollection of memories of my life flashing by in my mind; probably because it was not about to end yet. Then, a series of loud knocks, and then quiet, because we had landed safely. Throughout the ordeal, I thought to myself, why it was so “peaceful” other than the loud “bangs” and “thuds” going on outside, until later that day when I paid my car a final visit at the scrap garage that I realised all the airbags had come out and contrived to save me. No wonder I saw all-white in front of my eyes throughout the process, and not that I was in an all-white place called heaven. It’s also strange that only the day before, my family members were driving on the same stretch of road without me and commenting on the number of scratch marks on the walls left by motorists.
That day, after I went home, after a long day, finally, when I was in my bathroom showering, I asked myself, “What am I still doing here?” I couldn’t believe it. That I was still alive. I have never felt more grateful to be alive, not merely anymore. I have never felt more glad or safe in haven, that moment in my own bathroom, when I finally settled down a little, and the day’s events and everything that happened sank in. A new lease of life. People who mattered most to me came to mind. A new perspective. New drive. New vigour. New impetus. New motivation. “There had to be a reason why I am still alive, still living.” With this in mind, I have continued to live my life. Until today, when I pass that stretch of road, chills still involuntarily go up my spine, reminding me how fortunate I am to be still alive. That this life is precious. To make my presence count. That I still have time with and for my loved ones and everyone and everything that matter to me. Do you know how it feels like… to have life given back to you in an instant?
“What good can come out from let’s say, someone gets crippled or paralysed from an event or accident that was not his or her fault, or maybe someone just so happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, say wartime or some terrorist suicide bombing taking place, or maybe someone who is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only so much time to live?”
An innocent and random question that I asked some day.
“That you’re still alive.” Came the answer, with a shrug of the shoulders, as if to say, “Isn’t that right?”
First there was chaos and then there was peace…
First there was darkness and then there was light…
First there was Death and then there was Life…
First there was Death and then there was Life…
Life is very fragile.
Nobody knows what gonna happen next.
Accidents might happen anytime, anywhere.
If you are lucky, you will recover soon, or no injury at all.
Just like the accident that happened to u few years back.
I believes after that incident, you learnt alot. You will treasure your life and people around you more. You will also be extra careful on the road. Not only for your safety, but also others.
I dunno am i lucky or not, cos i did not encounter alot of death incidents.
I learnt not to take things for granted many years back when my Grandpa passed away. From young, my relationship with him wasn’t close. Mostly due to my dad and also cos my grandpa is a hokkien speaking and i’m someone who can understand but can’t speak well in hokkien.
One day my grandpa was hospitalize. My parents went to visit him when i was still schooling and thus i couldn’t join them. In my heart, i wanted to visit him. But cos my timing always dun match with the timing that my parents went down, thus i kept delaying.
One early morning. Just few days before CNY. Phone rang. I was still asleep but i could hear that my mum answering and i heard the sentence he passed away.
My tears starts flowing. I couldn’t believe he is just gone like that. The funeral was done at my void deck thus those days were the last moments i spent with him.
I saw him sleeping peacefully in the coffin. He had grown thinner. I couldn’t help but felt sad and started blaming myself.
On the last day of wake, i really broke down and cried badly. Everyone was shocked as i was someone who don’t cried infront of others and furthermore they always though my relationship with Grandpa was not deep enough.
I started to realise that my love to Grandpa is more than what i have always thought. I really regretted for not being able to talk to him for the last time.
If time can turn back…
What happened had happened…
I can only treat this as a learning process.
This is my biggest regret in my life.
Now whenever i think of it, my heart still pain…
But i know he is happily up there and always by my side…
Wow that’s really quite a number of deaths/accidents!
The way you described your ordeal when your car headed for the railings is somewhat, hilarious (although it must have been a tramatising experience), especially the four-letter word and all-white issue. Haha, and no, I’m not a morbid person.
Am glad that you have a different perspective and motivation after your accident, must have been a life-changing experience. Treasure life and your loved ones ya?
This has been an enjoyable (and strangely enlightening) morning read. Thanks and do write more :)
I’ve lost alot of people in my life. But trust me, when you lose them often enough, you become numb to it after awhile. I mean, the pain will fade, but it will NEVER go away. So all we can do is live with the pain. Life will take more and more out of you – be it things, people, or events that matter – until you feel that death may be an easier option. But at times like this, remember that you may not be happy, but there’s a reason why you must still be alive. You may not live, but at least you’ll survive. If you have to crawl, crawl. Just survive. That elusive word called happiness is but a hoax to get you to give up…
I seldom share personal stuff with peeps around me however felt that I need to share for this once. I totally knows how this felt..having life instant given back and taken away forever.
I have a very best girlfriend whom I love very much my whole life. 7 years back, she came back from Australia just to give me a big surprise and celebrate my birthday for me and buy my fave big teddy. She make arrangement asking my other girlfriends to bring me to our usual play ground & wait for a Big Surprise. Finally my girlfriends saw and pointed to the Big Surprise which was opposite the road crossing over, when I turn around, the only image I saw her smile hugging a big bear and then a car driving so fast and run-over her.
At that moment, I was in shock and my heart stop for a moment. I ran to her and ask my girlfriends to call for ambulance, I don’t know what to do but just hug her though blood was all over. I was so afraid to lose her. By the time, we reach hospital, she was sent to the emergency room. I call my parents to come but before they reach, she’s gone. Before she went off, she said Happy Birthday to me softly because It was just pass midnight. I cried badly and till now I still misses her very much.
I seldom share this incident with anyone because it makes me cry whenever I think of her. Since that time, I don’t celebrate my birthday anymore.
Life is precious, Please cherish every moment of it. Think of everyone that matters to you before you ever do anything to hurt them and leave that moment of misery in their life forever.
Life is unexpected
Nobody knows what next minutes will bring
I remember last year my mum and i was at my downstairs buying things getting ready to go home,then as we were crossing the road,i don know why but i just crossed and suddenly a bus was coming my way,even tho my mum was beside me but she do not understand why i crossed the road because there are cars around and she was screaming when she saw the bus coming my way and the driver was honking but luckily i was not hurt but my mind was blank at the moment cos i nearly died and after about 10 min i calmed down then my mum and i go home
Later evening my grandma called and tell us to go her house for dinner so my mum and i take a bus and go her house,not long,we reached,and then we were crossing the main road to her house,i don know why again,i wanted to cross the road again even tho there are cars and this time my mum quickly grabbed my hand or else i will be dead and then later as we are reaching her house,there is small road too and this time i want to cross again and my mum was screaming again because the car is really near me and going to knock me down but luckily the driver braked at the last minute in front of me,3 accidents encounter in one day,i was horrified and scared and my mind is totally blank,i do not know what is going on but im lucky that i was not hurt at all
And there is one time my mum and i was shopping and eating burgers and i suddenly feel giddy and my mum quickly find a place then sit down for a rest,but i keep feeling giddy and head very pain,i thought i was going to die cos i have never felt like that before and my mum was very scared and applied medicinal oil on my forehead but the pains never fade away and my face was turning very pale and my hand was icy cold and i feel like dying and i suddenly thought what if i died,i cant see and be with my family,grandma and those people who are important to me then there is two passers by who walked past us and saw what happened and they quickly buy hot milo for me and they wanted to help me to the clinic too but i don want to go clinic because im feeling giddy and don want to move and then after that i drink the hot milo and rest for a while then miracle happens,suddenly i do not feel giddy or nauseous anymore and im fine,my mum was worried sick just now,i myself do not understand why like that too but im relieved that im alive
I believe miracle do happens
i have encounted death a few times but i was not hurt and was alive,i feel lucky to be alive and was thankful my life was back to me or else my mum will be very miserable cos im only child and that my mum and dad dotes on me
That time i knew about your incident,i nearly fainted
Drive carefully,safety is important even if you are rushing ok?
Life is precious,and i suddenly feel that in life,if there is something you want to say ,just say it or what if die already then its late to say and there will be regrets
So i will live my life to the fullest cos i don want to have any regrets in my life
Life only once…So Live it
Elvin treasure life and treasure those people who are concerned about you
lucky you’re ok!
god bless you~
well..
maybe is isn’t your time to leave the world yet!
Dear Elvin,
I’m not a saddist but your entry made me smiled abit. I haven been on a good mood for sometime. Esp the part where your mum gonna faint on the spot, the airbag “heaven” and four letter words etc.
I have encounter loads, and really loads of deaths throughout my whole life. I shall just share the ones tt really left the biggest impacts in my life.
1st one, my grandpa passed away when i was in barely P2. Thou I don’t think I cried alot, cos perhaps i was too young to understand whats happening, but I just know that he’ll be gone forever. I used to go over to stay at my grandparents shophouse in chinatown every weeknds before it was pulled down by the govt. Even its like after so many years whenever i go back to China Square, the spot where it had become a fastfood restaurant. now I’ll always just stand there and recall my vivid memories that were once so sweet. The exact location the same building structure still do look alike but the feelings tt i once stayed there were never be the same again.
My best friend in primary school passed away when i was in P5, We were posted to diff class after streaming, but we still meet in recess time and after school for our meals and 5 stones, tyre, hopscotch or zeropoint sessions, our friendship was still as close as P1. We never had fights or quarrel. We were just super super close n stick to each other alot. I can still recall the day 27th Jan, she left us. Knowing she was my best friend, Her form teacher called me out of the class just to let me be the 1st to know. I tried not to cry or show out my emotion to my classmates the day. She had a lovely and happy family with a loving grandmother. She’s only 11, still had a bright future ahead, she never had a chance to enter secondary school. Our dream was to enter the same secondary school which was quite impossible cos I was shifting house to Woodlands where I’m now and she’s staying in Toa payoh. But that was just our common stupid yet cute goal. I always think and think during my free time. Isit fair to her? She was struck with cancer in P3 after Sept holidays, it started as dengue fever. on and off i did visited her. She did come back to school once awhile too. But absent frequently. She’s very brave, not afraid of needles at all. Her hair really dropped alot, she’s just so brave and wore a red hat if she ever attends school. She wldnt mind if you wanna see her bald head, she’ll glady take her hat down for you to ‘admire’. she have a very cheerful personailty and everyone likes her. Till this day, I still very much admire her courage. She left nthing for me except our class excursions photos, a birthday card tt i still safekept with me, occassionally taking out to read and cry. in it was written with really sweet long and cute msgs on it. How I wish god can give her some more time. From then on, I believe nthing is fair in this world. Thou I still have alot of good friends and I have my other best friends in secondary school life but I’ll never never forget her. In my heart, she’ll always be my bestest friend one can ever wish for.
The last one tt i wanna share is abt my own. I have always been quite a sickly child. Easily taking 2 weeks of MC excusing in PE lessons. Thanks to Asthma. But luckily i was alrite when I grew up. I don’t even needed a puff. Only till last year, I was suspected to be having dengue too, i was really afraid of loosing my loved ones just like my primary school best friend. alot of thoughts came to me that few nights. I haven had my wish come true, i haven met my goals, I haven earn enough for my parents who unconditonally took care of me for my whole life. I remembered the night when I was in hosp, my mum sitting infront of me, worrying abt me. and all i can do is cry and cry thanks to all the needles and poking and drawing many tubes of my bloods for testing throughout. I’m really glad I’m fine now! =)
Life is really unpredictable. Be contented with what you have and never ever stop to care for the ppl always beside you, behind you. your loved ones, ppl who loves you.
Hey Elvin,
Interesting entry there….well,i personally am a new driver.i have only gotten my licence for about 2 months now.to tell the truth,i am kinda scared of driving on the road because i’m scared that i might meet an accident someday.by the way,i am a malaysian driver.i’m not very proud to say that because malaysian drivers are really rude and dangerous.i’m glad to say that i haven’t lost any loved ones due to accident.And for that,i am thankful and grateful to God…
I’m very sad to read all the unpleasant encounters that everyone who’s posted here have had. But remember, bad things happen, and even if they leave a long, deep scar on us for the rest of our lives, it is but a reminder for us to be stronger, to love and cherish this life – ours and everyone else’s – to never give up on it, no matter how hard it may sometimes get.
I never really thought about death, it just seemed like a distant, dreamy concept “it’ll never happen to me” until I was 19. It was a beautiful afternoon too, a weekend, maybe very much like the one the Bangladeshi worker had died on. My aunt arrived at our gate and told us my uncle had just passed away in the hospital after a heart attack. My very old grandmother completely broke down, and I was at a loss. It was too unreal.
Sep 11, 2001, I woke up early in the morning to enjoy my last day in New York before flying home the next day. I stopped by a cart for a coffee and croissant, ears plugged in to the radio. “A jetliner had crashed into the World Trade Center just minutes ago”. I was maybe 20 blocks away, near Union Square. I remember sniggering at how stupid can the pilot be, completely refusing the thought that hey, there could be people in the building killed, not to mention the pilot and passengers. Death was still an unreal concept. But then, by the time the second plane went in, I was brought back to reality. I hurried down to a clearing near the Square to find a horrifying image of 2 burning towers. Moments later, a more horrifying one of the massive structures tumbling down. In downtown New York City. Sirens wailing, people screaming, choppers flying everywhere. The Big Apple was at its most peaceful over the next few days.
The next story is my own brush with death. Like always, death is something that happens to others, definitely not me. I’m quite a reckless road crosser. One Sat, I attempted to navigate the slow traffic leading to the Novena Church. Out of nowhere, a car came charging and knocked me down, tossing me several feet away. I was in a daze. In fact, I think the driver was more in shock than I was. I had scratches. The driver wanted to send me to the hospital. Other drivers advised me to have my injuries checked. They were just light bruises, which i eventually self-medicated. I thanked the drivers and moved on. Only on hindsight, I realised how bad it could have been, how fast I could have had my life snuffed out. I’ve been a more careful road user ever since, for my own good and others as well.
Another incident that gutted me was one perhaps 2 years ago. My sis wasn’t feeling very well but we still went out for breakfast together. After that, on our way home, as we were walking, she simply just collapsed without warning. We were flabbergasted. Not knowing what to do, we just had to get her to regain her consciousness quickly. It’s probably just minutes before she woke, but that felt like an eternity, and quite honestly, I never felt so scared before, not even during my own brush with death.
To this day, I’ve not quite overcome the sadness of my grandma’s passing 6 years ago. She’s been there ever since I was born, always caring and loving me more than anyone else. When she was gravely ill after a fall, I couldn’t visit her often (she’s in Malaysia). The long National Day weekend that year, I decided to pass on going back because of the horrendous crowd and queue at the customs. We thought we could visit her the following week. See, death still is sort of elusive. We just assumed that she’d still be there. The Tue following National Day, my grandma passed away and that remains my greatest regret in life.
Some thoughts after reading your blog.
There is only a thin line between life and death.
Some people died at a young age, yet some can live until a hundred years old.
Some people desperately wanted to live but can’t, yet some simply choose to give up.
Some were still talking to you today, and the next day they were gone.
Life is indeed unpredictable. One never know what will happen next.
Always cherish the present, learn from the past, and strive for the future.
(btw, elvin, you must drive carefully and take care hor….)
The world is always created in a balance. For one element that is created, an opposing one will inevitably be present as well. That is also how we humans perceive things and learn from mistakes. Under normal circumstances, man do not learn directly from the lessons in life. Its usually the opposite that left such great impressions on our mind. Like you have mentioned, when there no dark, who will be grateful for the lights that we have in some way taken for granted. If there’s no death, how are we going to understand the value of life? And if there were no chaos, peace wouldn’t have such a great impact on everyone’s mind. It is through taking the bad elements into our stride and learning the good elements that made us man. I hear no objections as that is truly how man was created to learn.
I share the comments posted by yt.
Life is certainly fragile…and things do happen for a reason, which we may or may not know (ultimately).
Thus, we need to cherish what we have, and not live to regret. Live the moment, yet care/plan for the future.
If we need to do something for or say something to our loved ones, JUST DO IT….do not wait cos we really do not know if we ever get to do it (ultimately).
Yes, do drive carefully on the roads, Elvin … we need to stay focused – be a responsibile driver for ourselves and for others. Thatz the message that I feel every motorist should keep in mind.
Witnessing death can’t be good, not to mention numerous times.
You know when your eyelid started twitching and you’ll think “Something bad is gonna happen.” Then you spend the next few days worrying & stressing over it.
Speaking of death, I’m currently reading “The Book Thief”
http://ateliergal.pixnet.net/blog/post/23374644
The most interesting aspect is that the story is narrated by Death.
Ai~
HEY ELVIN! :)
haha, sorry to say, but i smiled to myself quite abit while reading your entry. hahaha. especially at the part “xoxo, I’m dead!”. haha. its really anti-climax-ed. heh. anyways, i don’t know why, but from your writing style in this entry, it really is meant to be an ‘emo’ piece, but somehow you managed to injected some humour into it (intentionally or unintentionally) but just really glad to see that you are still alive and kicking :D
hahaha, on a lighter note, i think your life is really interesting, with all those different experiences with dead corpses. haha. i’m not a sadist, but not many people get to experience so many life-death experiences even before they reach 30! hahahaha.
okay, hope to see more of your blog posts…
love,
11
dear elvin:) I’m glad you’re still living till this day! keep going! I’ve gained much insight into life from your post. take care:)
:)kaiting
First there was Death and then there was Life… May I add, that, yet what is promised to us at birth is Death? And it is up to each to read it with optimism or pessimism. :)
Gotta say I really enjoy reading your blog (not because you’re a celeb but) because the things you write are like subtle reminders of life and rather thought-invoking to me. They make me see things in another light.
I guess everyone does have a different take
on Life as well so what matters is to live a fulfilling one. So there, take heart in your brushes with death. Carpe Diem :)
[...] sis just sent me a link to Elvin Ng’s blog where I read this really long post on his encounter of deaths. Nevermind that I just found out the Mediacorp actor’s real name [...]
Hey yt!
Just wanna comment on your above msg,
“Some people died at a young age, yet some can live until a hundred years old.
Some people desperately wanted to live but can’t, yet some simply choose to give up.
Some were still talking to you today, and the next day they were gone. ”
How sad, but yes how true =(
wow! a long post indeed. this gives me another perspective of death and how fine the line between life and death is.
somehow this post reminds me of a dream I had. It happened after some show featuring you which I can’t remember. When I was about to wake up from my dreamland, an interesting place I must say, I dream of you saying that you like me a lot which I doubt and don’t hope is true. This jerked me wide awake. LOL! Obviously, this is one fun dream that gave me a deep impression. Guess I am having side effects from that show. Haha!
Elvin , you still remember me ?????
the one you film BU FAN DE AI at circuit and i took a pic w you ??
my fren took also ..
i ran up to get yr signature b4 your filming a scene which Rui En supposing to help you wash hair ..
and you ask if i mind yr hands dirty ..
you still remember ??
hope you still rmb …..
takecares
Hi Elvin,
Firstly, Pls be very careful on the roads…
Then, yes… life is very fragile yet precious. We try to live everyday to the fullest and should always cherish our love ones around us..
Thanks for sharing!
God bless all of us =)
Cheers,
Ivy Tan
Elvin , firstly , i hope you are alright .
The number of deaths u witnessed recently is scaring , seriously .
You should be careful wherever you go and also in whatever you do now a days ,
life is fragile .
I’ve witnessed my fair share of death to loved ones and also to animals , cats , like you.
At along geylang serai road , when i was walking towards the bus stop to take bus to my school , i was rushing , and i did not really see what was lying on the passengers pathway.
it was a small pathway and the sky wasnt bright , but when i got closer to the ‘thing’ that was lying on the pathway ,
i saw a cat , squashed with intestines all over the place , but nobody cared.
In my mind i was wondering if i should call the SPCA , but i was thinking, SPCA doesnt work like the police force i guess, they wont be there for 24/7, but i didnt know what i can do for the cat. The head was squashed as anyone can see , it’s really flat down , and the whole body was ‘empty’ , the intestines were all out of the stomach. It was gross, very gross.
What made it worse, i had seen the cat for the past 3 months, on my way to school. That path is necessary in order to reach the bus stop, as opposite is northlight school, these cats always hang around the same area and spot , i can say there’s about 5 of them at least.
I was at a loss but i couldnt do anything except staring at the cat with tears somehow whelming in my eyes. I couldn’t call SPCA or anything , i felt so hopeless, but i still have to go to school. It was terrible, really terrible feeling.
Alot has gone thru my mind for that morning and when i reached school, i did not even speak for the 1st few hours. The shock of someone knocking down the poor cat yet doesnt care and leaving it to die this way, it shocked me enough, how can there be humans who disregard animal’s life so much as to really abandon it there after knocking it down. This i really do not understand, but i felt guilty too, for not being able to do anything for the cat.
Well, recently i picked this book up that really inspired me alot , it’s called ” The five people you meet in heaven” by “Mitch Albom”
It really leaves you thinking and makes you feel the gratitude to everything that had happened around you like how what you did has changed someone’s life or anything similar ,
Do tell me if u really did pick up the book ! It’s really a nice read (:
And lastly , once again , please take care of yourself.
ELVINNN im kIFF!!! :PPP love ya!! muacks! do reply my msg when ya fRee! im the one asked abt ur myopia~~~
I can understand how impacted you are from all the experiences above. I guess it’s through these experiences that we learn about the fragility of life. However, I feel more saddened about the ones involving animals, because most of their death (in this case) are caused by, human.
I had a near death experience too. But I had to fight it.
I was staring into the face of death rather unexpectedly. It was during the December holidays two years ago. I was with my family in Shanghai. Having stomach flu and recovering briefly before going overseas. Brought my medicine and took as prescribed by the doctor. One day, we went to a sushi restaurant. Suddenly I felt extreme fatigue. All my energy was wiped up like a tsunami. Though trying with all my might, it gets harder to breathe, in each breath. “Daddy, I’m very tired. Can I sleep?” He replied in a shrug, seemingly nothing’s wrong with me.
“I really cannot breathe..” I spoke a little louder. Before I knew it, I was leaning sideways.
“You sleep for a while.”He thought I was just sleepy. Nothing serious. I started to shiver. Slowly I began to have convulsions. As I was shaking and gasping for breath, everything was floating. Silent night was playing softly in the background. It’s so peaceful my breath gets lighter at the same time, and I wanted to give in. Why that song at this moment? Christmas is not here yet. But I love this song.
A voice in my head said, “No breathe deeper, you’re too young to die.” It was right. I still had a long future ahead. I was only 17. I was rushed to a nearby hospital. Parked in a stretcher for a long time. Service was slow. Death was laughing in my face, mockingly. “You are going to lose! “ Convulsions got worse. “I don’t wanna die.” I struggled to utter to my mum. “You are going to be alright.” she said. Seeing all the worried faces of my family members, I felt stronger somehow. But I was still very afraid. The convulsions stopped just before I was wheeled into a room. Instantly, miraculously it stopped. Snap of the fingers. Death how evil it seems, disappeared. The doctor said I was diagnosed with paranoia and anemia. There was nothing wrong with me? We were all so puzzled. I never had a serious convulsion before, nor any serious medical condition. We analysed and came to a conclusion that I popped a wrong pill. Well perhaps. Even so, I didn’t overdose. It was just a tiny pill. Smaller than my smallest fingernail. Till today, it remains a mystery. And I don’t have a second convulsion ever since.
Death is like a thief, an unexpected visitor. Fate directs it. Something, chased it away. And who else? Yes. I do believe God saved me. Maybe he was testing my faith. Teaching me a lesson. Maybe it was an accident, he heard my call for help. That I was too young to die.
Death on the other hand is temporary.
Death ironically, is beautiful. If you believe in the afterlife. A land of glory and sweetness.
Death is like a tunnel that links the physical world to the unknown.
A semi colon.
It all made sense to me after I returned to Singapore. Nothing is for granted. I learnt to take life at my own pace and live it to the fullest. At the end of the day, at the brink of death, what matters to you the most, is the last thing you think on your mind. I thought of nothing. Because my family was with me.
The near death experience have some side effects in my life ever since. I have witness other miracles in my life, like how event after event seem to go in an order. They made more sense in my life, no matter how I struggle at some point, after that, I came to know of the reason of why I have to go through that.
I had text analysis (technical theatre) class on Tuesday. We were discussing about the play, Wit, (W;t) written by Margaret Edson. It is an incredible play. Brilliantly witty, insightful…It is about a literature professor, Vivian who is dying of stage four ovarian cancer. Recalling the events of receiving the treatment, she realizes that she had been leading her life wrongly. It addresses themes of life and death, metaphysical and the scientific, humanity. It’s awesome. I love the last scene when she died and walked towards the light. It’s so beautiful it has such an impact. Margaret wrote it as a split scene, walking towards the light on the left column and the doctors rescuing her on the right.
The poem below is mentioned and analysed by Vivian and intricately links the play to a deeper meaning.
Holy Sonnet X: Death be not proud
By John Donne
Death, be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so ;
For those, whom thou think’st thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleep, which but thy picture[s] be,
Much pleasure, then from thee much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee do go,
Rest of their bones, and soul’s delivery.
Thou’rt slave to Fate, chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell,
And poppy, or charms can make us sleep as well,
And better than thy stroke ; why swell’st thou then ?
One short sleep past, we wake eternally,
And Death shall be no more ; Death, thou shalt die.
Elvin ,
whenever youre , pls be careful alrights ???
takecares
(:
As long as you had done all what you wanted..
Then there is no regret.
I had step on the line too. Being back just infront of it..
I think to love those thats worth, treasure those thats worth, do those thats worth and see those thats worth.
TIME is the key. Feel the clock is clicking itself away.
So when the line come close again.. Im ready this time.
Everything in the world will end, even earth itself.
Treasure Time.
That was the scariest event happened 2 yrs ago, when I heard an accident happened to you. Thank God you are alive until now. Sorry, I don’t know how to say, no offensive means… But, thinking back that news, really TERRIFIED…!
Live’s fragile. Anything eventually happens just like that and it is beyond our control. This is also why I don’t learn driving although I am now qualified to do so. That’s because of the road accident statistics in Malaysia, and anywhere else! The scary number of average death per day and so on…
Just want to say, drive carefully and of course in high spirits. Don’t drive when you are sad or emotionally-hurt or very tired. This is just I want to say to prevent accident happen again.
OMG what am I typing… Sorry no offensive means.
Happy always! Don’t think of that bad past. This is just I want to say.
I vaguely recalled that the day ur car overturned it was dec 15? My bdae that is. However I always believed u will be fine cos u have a blessed life. Everything has certainly works out well for u through these years.. wishing u lots of good fortune n fame for years to come.. Ps: love tt ” i wonder why so many ppl put so many pic on their blog” keneth
well thats what we must face in life.there is still some things that we can enjoy. and some we can’t.if there are no problems/accidents in the world than the whole earth will be full of people .anyway nevermind humans will die eventually its only a matter of time.nobody can live until 200 years old . everyday people pass away.it was a close shave for you .and also an experience for you.hope that this entry will send out to all the blog readers and every one in the world that life is precious we must tresure it no matter what happen to you.and you must thanks your loved ones for making you happy. if god did not protect you 2 years ago there might not be you today if we don’t have you today than we won’t have this blog without this blog i won’t be here replying you.anyway we must thanks father lord .
Saw u last wk at jalan bahar road, if im not wrong. filming?
so many accidents you had witnessed in a few days. Many people know life is fragile, but for who is never near -death ,they will not know how is the feeling was…..
人生就是脆弱及充满很多无奈的.
i read somewhr, “the best revenge in life is to live happily”
kinda saddist, but feel its so true.
live life to the fullest, and I noe u are doing it.
KEEP IT UP!!!
you might not know what will happen tmr life is unpredictable
Hi Elvin, thank you for your inspiring entry.
The stories which you’ve shared as well your personal experience and thoughts have really made me cherish my life more. I used to take my life lightly due to the many failures I’ve experienced. However, your entry has reminded me that I am still alive for a reason. It has allowed me to truly understand how fragile & precious life is, as well as the importance of my existence today.
I’ve really learnt from your entry. Thank you for helping me find a new direction in life.
Thank you :)
This morning, there was a squashed up remains of a rat on the road. eeuuww ! i was on my way to work and had to cross that road ….i didn’t want to see it…was gross…plus i wasn’t feeling well today…had running nose. Although i’ve seen lots of gross & bloody scenes from CSI tv series, nothing beats the real thing…:(
I know that life is short…death is inevitable. one never knows whether a loved one will still be around the next minute, or the next day, etc. Almost lost my mum a few years ago. So i do treasure my time with my family… but it’s easier said than done.
Driving…is dangerous….From young i always pretend i’m driving the car while sitting at the back. Now…i don’t know how to drive; is encouraged to learn driving but finds driving rather inconvenient (especially the parking). it’s a skill… so i may take it up… eventually…i guess.
your description of your first hand experience of your car accident was insightful. thanks for sharing! i’m really glad that that you escaped death. Becoz here you are now….and we got to know more about U.
take care!
Life and Death? They are but just two sides of a coin.
Elvin, hope you don’t get yourself too tired out while busying with works & things that happened recently , must get enough rest =)…by the way, really must be more careful while you are on the road, don’t speed too fast if possible, ok? =)
wondering right now are you enjoying yourself in the role that you play in the drama?