51 Responses to “Accommodate”

1. Kar Hing, on October 13th, 2009 at 1:20 am said:

   I agree that sometimes spending time by yourself is an indulgence because in the end it is you yourself that matters.

2. yt, on October 13th, 2009 at 1:26 am said:

   Yea….sometimes, being alone is not a bad thing. I just need to be myself and do things which I like and feel comfortable with.

   There is this perception among many people that when you saw a person being alone, you will tend to think that the person has no friends or is unpopular, or even think he or she is lonely. However, this may not necessary be the case. It’s just a matter of choice whether one want to be alone or not.

   Alone =/= Lonely

3. Meiling, on October 13th, 2009 at 9:07 am said:

   Yup, being alone at times are good.
   You do whatever you want without thinking whether will the others like it?

   People will think that being alone means you are a loner.
   But it doesn’t mean that being with a huge group of people, you will be happier than being alone.

   I personally is a loner when it comes to lunch break.
   I don’t go out for lunch with my colleagues.
   Not that i am outcasting them.
   It’s just that I’m used to eating alone.
   I do not have to think or plan ahead where and what i want to eat.
   Going out with others, you will tend to waste time on discussing where to eat and normally end up being a follower.

   Like what you said,”sometimes you are so tired of smiling and trying to be nice to others when others do not try to smile or be nice to you”
   Once you are too accommodating, people will take you as granted.

   How many times in a day, did we really smile through the bottom of your heart? There are too many times that we are smiling for the sake of smiling. We are being nice for the sake of others. But are we really meant in our heart?

   Just be yourself and enjoy the moments you have being alone or with others. There’s still needs to be balanced between it. =)

4. Kim, on October 13th, 2009 at 10:09 am said:

   Elvin, do you have buddies. There is a time for everything under the sun. Pehaps this is the time when you like to be alone. Being alone gives you space for self-evaluation.

   How can you write these stuffs, aren’t you filming in Malacca and got time to blog, using internet shops.

   I used to have a bunch of good buddies, 8 of us. When I say buddies, it means we go tour together, we have church retreat together for years, we celebrate each other birthdays, the raining days and the sunny days.
   Fun and memorable.
   Now my job is demanding and I am meeting them less but whenever my buddies need to go to airport, I am always there to bring them to the airport.

   Well, you need buddies in your life, they are like salt and pepper, making your food tasty. Or because of your busy schedule and you have no time for your friends.

   Life is a phase, each phase can be a plateau after sometimes, but after a plateau, do not you want to climb another peak. Life is like climbing small ridges and mountains, you can take a break and enjoy the view from the mountaintop at every peak . And the view from the mountaintop is astonishing. I learnt mountain climbing from God. If you heard of the famous story of Moses, Moses met God at Mount Herob. I never forget the movie ‘The Ten Commandments’, the splitting of the Red Sea and I always tell God, I want to split the sea into two like what Moses did, but must be for a purpose. Otherwise do it for what.

   I was in Kota Kinabalu (KK), I was 32 years old then. Someone drove me up halfway of Mt Kinabalu and we rested to see the big flower, Rafflesia. I saw the tip of Mt Kota Kinabalu, they called it ‘Wan Fu Ai’ but I do not have time to climb up that peak. My niece went up this June just to climb up that perk in KK. She did not make to the top because of the bad weather and fog, so she did not manage to get her certificate of achievement.

   But something happens when I was in KK in 1992, I had a dream and in my dream, God gave me a golf-club and asked me to strike. I told God that I had never played golf before but I know it is not about golf. He is teaching me the principle of being focus. I have to be focus, that is all about golf. At that time, I have to manage my own business and the word is focus.

   You are taking stock of your lives now, you are growing and maturing now. Dream a dream for your life and it will propel you to move on and on, till you reach your dream. At every decade of your life, make a dream. What kind of dream - anything. Your career, building a family, building a business or whatever.

   I have went through your phase and I am still dreaming a dream now at 50, a dream that is very close to my heart, and I know it will materialise. Never give up, … I look at MM Lee Kuan Yew, at 85 and he still never give up, working and managing and meeting some of the top politicians all around the world. Singaporeans need to dream for this nation.

   Look, see and change. If the caterpillar remains in a cocoon forever, then there will never be a butterfly. This is the metamorphosis of life. Enjoy your filming.

5. Tamy, on October 13th, 2009 at 12:07 pm said:

   I wished I could be able to STOP being so accomodating and being all so nice to ppl… they reali take it for granted and think that u are a pushover! tired tired tired.. :(

6. axetee, on October 13th, 2009 at 12:27 pm said:

   Laughs! It’s amazing that most of the times, human tend to accommodate to the needs of the others rather than oneself. It is time for one to start living for oneself now. For it is now or never.

7. Gillian, on October 13th, 2009 at 3:21 pm said:

   Loves This Post.

8. Ray, on October 13th, 2009 at 6:16 pm said:

   that’s the way life is..reality is tough..but face it..that’s no other way..and do not hide from it..be yourself..be cool..like rui en…so much a star so much a class of her own..anyway who cares??

9. rakuten98le, on October 13th, 2009 at 6:19 pm said:

   True enough.
   Just be what you like. And that’s the way.
   I find that a nice feeling too. Being alone is really fun. You can do whatever you want and anything you like. It’s an enjoying process as you can enjoy doing something really personal without other’s presence.
   I am actually a person who practise that, but that doesn’t mean I am a recluse person. It’s totally DIFFERENT for what that should be.
   However I still want you to keep smiling :) Thanks~

   P/S : So, enjoy walking around Malacca alone when you are free? :)

10. Audrey, on October 13th, 2009 at 7:26 pm said:

    Being alone sometimes is a good thing. once in awhile, i tend to lunch in eating on my desk alone, or i’d rather play computer for tt hour. Then my colleagues wld starting asking if i was emo-ing? I just needed some time to be alone. to be myself. definately not emo-ing and it certainly make me happier.

    At least for tt hour I don’t need to smile to others, talk to others, or cared abt anything in the world.

    Perhaps too often, we tend to agree on other’s opinions too much when we are in a group. Sometimes, we cared too much abt others, accomodating on others tt u neglected urself.

    Not being a loner or antisocial person, I’m one who’s actually quite outgoing. But we shld all take a break sometime n be alone, be independent once in awhile. The feeling is gd. =)

11. Chermayne, on October 13th, 2009 at 9:51 pm said:

    Being alone is essential for me too. To ruminate, take a pause from the social group. And dream, feel, think about my life.
    You can either be a best friend to yourself, or an enemy.

    “When every good seems to be forgotten and each bad remembered.” Agreed, it’s cruel reality. All thanks to cynics. That’s why I don’t like to accomodate too much to people who I don’t know well, and especially to those who don’t appreciate anything I have done. And worse still, people who discredit. Find faults with you even if they don’t know you.
    They/the person still can go ahead, but by doing so little to harm me in anyway.

12. Han, on October 13th, 2009 at 10:50 pm said:

    The bliss of peace and being alone - to think through, to plan ahead, to consolidate …
    This is also called TIME OUT for ourselves.
    Nothing wrong to be alone. However, at times, do give time to those who genuinely care too.

13. liitle fish, on October 13th, 2009 at 11:44 pm said:

    我喜欢你的心情，和你外表看起来不一。
    总以为你的笑容，你的亲切是那么的简单。。。

    在听过你的心情后，
    觉得你的笑容，你的亲切是那么难得。。。

    难得在于，
    你会很高EQ的迎接任何的挑战，任何的不快乐！
    难得在于，
    原来Elvin不是都那么傻傻的。。。

    如果accomodate是那么难受，那就让自己一个人。。。
    一个人运动，一个人走街，一个人看电影，一个人坐在pub里看着跳舞唱歌的人。。。

14. Feather Blue, on October 14th, 2009 at 2:11 am said:

    faint. i did that alone thingy all the time… anyway watching movie dont have to talk to anyone even there is someone what…. i eat alone since young.. my bday im always alone too.. i shop alone.. i can go esplade sit alone by the sea n think of nothing.. just to feel the breeze.. n relax.. elvin dont need to think or feel so hard de.. those people and matters are not worth your time.. after work your yourself. never i had take you like perfact guy who is like doll.. just smile n be nice only.

    In life.. we are like with a passport.. someday after we finish the tour.. we leave. We say 60 is lucky, then where are you? How much you’ve got in your bank? How much you’ve seen in this world? How much you live your life? We actually got no time to think of how others see us or feel about us. We do as we want but thinking in other’s view too. Or it’ll be just enclose n get self-centered.

    You want to fully be yourself? CAN… BE YOUR OWN BOSS. To be very frank.. if im you.. i get out of all these stupid hell at the sametime making use of my fame n build myself my own kingdom. is sure not a dream.. u obviously know you can do this.

    i tell you….. everyday you can orange juice n swimming pool by the sea. want to talk to cat also nobody say a word. I’ll rather go to some europe place to be a model than to get suck in the local box here if i were you.

    What mediacorp do anyway… i dont even care to watch their show.. is like all the artist got rank.. who got a better rank who get a better role.

    u think about it.. new people come up all the time.. n those old guy hold on to their sit as if they are still young.. how u tell me..? worth it or not..? going anywhere or not? haiz…

15. greeny, on October 14th, 2009 at 4:04 am said:

    i watched a movie by myself once, just to kill some time between meeting diff grp of frens. felt very alone in the big theatre filled with many ppl. guess i jus cant overcome the fear that ppl are having thoughts abt me being weird to be catching a movie by myself, u r different in this way.

    i would think that if u r with ur good frens, u wont feel the need to accomodate them, or at least u wont feel like u r accomodating them in the bad way… hmm, not sure if i make sense. anyway, be happy and be urself!

16. L, on October 14th, 2009 at 11:30 am said:

    Hi Elvin, how do I go about getting your autograph for my sister’s birthday next month? She’s a huge fan. Is there somewhere I can catch you for a mo without intruding on your privacy? Thank you.

17. william, on October 14th, 2009 at 2:02 pm said:

    take it easy …
    do not think so much .. always be happy
    we will support u forever!

18. Secret, on October 14th, 2009 at 4:19 pm said:

    网民投选本地最佳荧幕情侣　瑞恩黄俊雄最合拍

    http://showbiz.omy.sg/Showbiz/E-News/Story/OMYStory200910141506-97991.html

    What do you think of this?

19. Melody, on October 14th, 2009 at 8:53 pm said:

    When every good seems to be forgotten and each bad remembered

    Life is like that,when you treat people nice,people might not appreciate it,this type of people you don”t have to care as long as you do something good,you know that you do that,no one else,and you have to remember that,you did nothing wrong by accomodating them,just that they are not worth it

    Being alone is good sometimes,but just like everyone else,you just want someone who like you and will be the other part of you and be with you

    Accomodating to the people that matter to you is very important

20. woo, on October 14th, 2009 at 11:41 pm said:

    “Always direct your thoughts to those truths that will give you confidence, hope, joy, love, thanksgiving, and turn away your mind from those that inspire you with fear, sadness, depression.”
    - Bertrand Wilbertforce

    Irish Blessing:
    May there always be work for your hands to do, may your purse always hold a coin or two. May the sun always shine on your windowpane, may a rainbow be certain to follow each rain. May the hand of a friend always be near you, may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.

21. J, on October 15th, 2009 at 11:31 am said:

    Elvin:
    You da man!!! This is the most sensible entry I’ve read among blogs for a while. Learning how to be alone was the best thing I did while I was in Sec. school. No annoying gossiping, no silly and childish talk, just me and the road ahead. But your line of work makes it hard to be alone … sometimes. A number of your fans and your colleagues must surely expect you to be smiling, excited, talkative, and, of course, accommodating all the time… just like the roles you portray on TV. Well, screw ‘em!! Unfortunately, some people will require you to be accommodating… like your bosses or supervisors. Well, screw ‘em as well!! But in your quiet moment … shhh ….

22. Amanda, on October 15th, 2009 at 11:37 am said:

    perhaps by not accommodating others, that’s the only chance where by one can be oneself, being who he authentically is. Even though it might sound pathetic and lonely, at the same time, it’s just simply an overwhelming indulgence for those who love being alone. Being alone is the only time one rests entirely, for we can finally be who we are, and who we want to be.

23. ivy, on October 15th, 2009 at 6:24 pm said:

    Oh! U make me realise I am indeed too accommodating at times. Thanks for the reminder.. Most of the things u mentioned i totally feel it too… there are times i really dont wanna b nice anymore. Argh… but still, i do enjoy my companions. alone for me work only once in awhile.

    u take care and continue doing what u deem right k? stay happy!

24. LT, on October 16th, 2009 at 1:02 pm said:

    UPS!
    i couldn’t agree more.

25. sammie, on October 16th, 2009 at 2:50 pm said:

    •☼• be yourself •☼•

    •☼• be at peace with yourself •☼•

    •☼• be comfortable with being with yourself •☼•

    most importantly….

    ☼•☼•☼ just b happy ☼•☼•☼

    ^_________^V

26. goh, on October 17th, 2009 at 3:30 pm said:

    I can relate to what you say about being nice but people mistake it for weakness and take advantage of you. It is sad when you show kindness but get evil in return.
    But for myself, I have decided to remain kind inspite of the bastards I encounter, cause it shows that I am a strong person on the inside and not affected by how others treat me.
    So don’t let the jerks borther you. There are still many nice and kind people in this world like me!!! hahaha

27. Anon, on October 17th, 2009 at 3:43 pm said:

    you rocks! i love your philosophy [: your attitude towards life :D

    When every good seems to be forgotten and each bad remembered. When a sheet of white paper with a black dot is noticed only for its black dot. When whatever credit you thought you might have built up counts for nothing really.
    - quoted from your blog

    indeed. (:

    Still, a sheet of white paper with a black dot is still more beautiful than a black piece of paper.
    the good (even with some bad) is still more beautiful than a total bad. [:
    a Lousy angel is more beautiful than a downright devil
    be who we wna be :D
    life is beautiful just by ourselves :D

28. Xiu Xiu, on October 17th, 2009 at 8:16 pm said:

    This post is good, exactly describe how I feel. All along I thought by just behaving myself the way I like and doing what I like is okay . But boss want me to socialise & “PR” with people.. That is not the real me and I find it is not neccessary, it will only make me feel very “xin ku” and fake. I know that it puts me in a disadvantage situation in getting recognition like promotion though no matter how good I can produce my work. At least, I feel happier… just being myself..

29. R, on October 18th, 2009 at 12:06 am said:

    just be yourself…be happy….=)

30. takumi, on October 18th, 2009 at 3:14 pm said:

    i totally agree of what u said…..being alone is not terrible,as long u feel it comfortable^^i like to be alone smtime,there’s so much to think about myself and my future…..

31. nat, on October 18th, 2009 at 9:06 pm said:

    true..sometimes u’ll get tired of smiling..

    but den, isn’t smiling supposed 2 b juz that natural, and juz tt simple?

    should b comfortable with the ppl around u… =)

32. Jvigne, on October 19th, 2009 at 12:14 pm said:

    Hi admire!
    i’m so lucky and happy that met urs team at Malacca! haha
    feel free can go view urs photo ok?

    http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/photo.php?pid=9293249&id=841185789

    Gambateh elvin, always supporting you!

33. Celest, on October 19th, 2009 at 11:48 pm said:

    I feel that it’s a form of finding ourself.

34. Sketchofhappiness, on October 20th, 2009 at 12:52 am said:

    Same predicament, sigh..
    When you treat others nicely and with utmost sincerity, they took advantages of you, again and again..

    Ignore these people.
    Hang tougher, if they want to see you falter.
    Let out a brighter smile for them to see, that they can’t bring you down.=)

    They will also recieve retribution one day, because we reap what we sow.=)
    As long you have tried your best, it is enough.=)

    That’s how I console and encourage myself.=)
    Try to ignore comments that are not constructive too.=)
    Jiayouu! Stay happy~ :}

35. ernie, on October 20th, 2009 at 9:39 pm said:

    =)

36. Starz, on October 22nd, 2009 at 12:40 am said:

    I enjoy being alone when I go shopping and sometimes, going to lunch. Most of the times, i don’t have much of choice but to be alone. I tried going to the movies alone once and sad to say I didn’t enjoy it. Firstly, i feel so weird going to the cinema alone as most people would have the impression that this person is so pathetic with no frenz to accompany to watch, etc. and everyone else is in pairs or with groups of frenz/family. 2ndly, after watching the show, i feel so uncomfortable not able to share my review of the movie with my frenz/family especially if they have not watched the movie…..

    I’m not an accomodating person coz it’s juz not me….but i’ve been told that i need to change this attitude…

    BTW, Elvin, how come you don’t give response to the comments left in your blog? The communication here is so 1 way….i feel kinda empty writing comments and not knowing what’s your views, etc. BTW, I have not seen you in person….how or when do i have a chance to do so??

37. JoJo, on October 22nd, 2009 at 11:25 pm said:

    Elvin, stay cheerful ya.. Being alone is pretty cool, and anw i believe that the most impt thing in life is to have a peace of mind, anytime, anywhere. Being alone is one way i find that peace of mind.

    And to everybody reading, pls dun wait for the end of smthg to have that peace of mind. eg, after exam, after work assignments etc..That’s what happens with most of us, and that’s also why the only time we find people resting in peace is at the cemetery. :P

    Also, btw, i dun think its rational to expect elvin to reply to the replies leh… he doesn’t sit by the com all day long!!! hahah

38. Jo, on October 23rd, 2009 at 10:39 am said:

    I really like how the way you blog.
    The post really expressed what i thought sometimes.
    TC~

39. Ecclesia, on October 23rd, 2009 at 3:39 pm said:

    Hi Elvin ! Its true that being alone @ times is great but, we shouldnt have a habit to do it too often XD I do feel the same way cause we can be oblivious to the surroundings. you are a star on channel 8 and maybe more in the future which makes it even harder for you right ? with the fans, paparazzi… it never stops.
    Don’t worry and smile ! =D

    xxx
    Ecclesia

40. Ecclesia, on October 23rd, 2009 at 3:40 pm said:

    I forgot to say this : october 13 is one day after my BDAY hehe I just turned fourteen =D

41. Edward, on October 24th, 2009 at 12:54 pm said:

    i like to go out alone too…. as wad ah sang song have describe… “我一个人吃饭旅行到处走走停停 也一个人看书写信自己对话谈心”…

42. z, on October 26th, 2009 at 11:02 pm said:

    this is random and it’s the first time im even reading ur blog. i think as we go through the changes in our life or just get on with our never-ending work; you kind of forget your presence and i totally just found “myself” few weeks back too. i guess you don’t have to really bother about what others say, nor fake pretence. although sometimes you really have to, for your own good but there’s always a limit and just stop when you’re there. just be accountable to urself. not many people see the good in things, just the flaws, and im really glad you can ! haha. (you not only have the looks but the brains too lol) but dont you think that even if some people think that it’s a flaw, everything will still fall in place? haha. okay this may sound like crap.. but btw, i think ure cute. (:

43. Joanne, on October 27th, 2009 at 9:53 am said:

    Hi Elvin,

    i strongly agree with you. when you try to be nice and help others, instead of being grateful and appreciate, they begin to think that you are a pushover. Hence, i think it’s time for us to show them some true colours and let them know what we are made of!!

    Jia you for your work, remember you are not alone. We are supporting you always :)

44. lynn, on October 27th, 2009 at 9:31 pm said:

    Elvin ,when you want to pair wif JESSECA LIU ,for the next drama ? So long never see both of you leading star leh.. after kinship. will there be part 3 for kinship? So nice to see you both in kinship.

45. Wen, on November 1st, 2009 at 8:51 pm said:

    yup. sometimes we just want to be on our own. it’s not a bad thing… right? being too much around people can actually make us less independent, more reliant.

    i used to have a really really good friend whom im with almost 24/7. when i ‘lost’ her, it was almost like the end of the world… sometimes private time to ourselves helps us see things more clearly too. anyway keep going Elvin, we’re all behind you. (:

46. Ven, on November 2nd, 2009 at 12:10 am said:

    I agree with the way you say about accommodating.
    It talks about how I am feeling right now, at this moment and over the months of my work life. I didn’t know media industry is worst than i thought it could be. I hate to put up a fake face but i have to. I hate to smile when i am not happy but i have to. I dislike accommodating to people when i need sometime alone. My world now is just so lifeless, I want to have my life more vibrant, but it doesn’t seems to work the way i wanted. My lifestyle now is getting worst and still i have to accommodate to the way i do not like. I am not sure how long i can hang in there…it just feels real bad. Anyway, I hope you be better soon. Take Care

47. i'll be there, on November 2nd, 2009 at 5:41 am said:

    I have always thought you’re a super nice and humble guy until i read your blog lately. It seems to me you have changed, but I don’t mean it in a bad way. Maybe you learnt something while in this industry that led the change in you? You have learnt not to be too nice and accomodating now? Isit the pressure and criticisms are getting way too strong for you to be nice? Actually its sad but good at the same time that you have learnt. But I really hope you are still the nice guy deep inside you. Or did I seen the wrong person? Is that you? I hope you do not lose yourself. Just be yourself, you do not really need to accomodate to others if you deem its not necessary. I am still learning too, in fact everyone is learning in their whole lives. We lose our innocence as we go as we grow, we get more complicated as we experience as we think, but we cannot lose our soul… blessings to all

48. noob, on November 3rd, 2009 at 3:56 pm said:

    wow.. jiayou! be true to yourself, i like! :)

49. yu, on November 27th, 2009 at 2:17 am said:

    totally agree, thats why, i m going overseas on my own, to get a breather from these hectic place, find myself, and not accomodating to others.

    =)

50. Eileen, on November 30th, 2009 at 4:11 pm said:

    being alone helps when you’re especially down, don’t feel like smiling and don’t wish to have ppl saying you giving the sulky face. when you’re in a group, no matter how upset you are, you still feel obligated to force a smile on your face, lest people say you’re such a wet blanket.
    i like being alone for most of the time now, until i’ve learnt how to put that natural smile back on my face.
    things that i once thought i’d never be caught dead doing it alone, like eating out alone, watching movies alone, travelling overseas and shopping alone,etc. i’ve realise the pros of doing it.

51. Nhung, on February 5th, 2010 at 12:30 am said:

    the only thing i know is while u are writing this u are in negative mood.is it right?

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