Living Honestly
December 18, 2010Unfortunately, honesty might not always be the best policy.
To me, honesty means being able to lay out both the good and bad sides of yourself. And being comfortable enough to do so, that’s courage. Not just busily trying to show or impress the good side of yourself and desperately covering up the bad side from people. As we all know that humanity is characterised not only by human strengths but human flaws as well, so let’s face it. Very often, we gloss up our history, put on a facade, tell a different story, and understandably so, because we want to protect ourselves and do not want others to think badly of us.
However, sometimes being too honest puts us at the losing end. Come on, let’s face it, it’s a cynical and harsh world out there. Who wants to wear their hearts on their sleeves, inviting trouble isn’t it? Perhaps, honesty is the best policy, only when used appropriately?
An example of trying to be honest: Whatever remarks and comments that come into my blog, whether they are good or bad, reasonable or not, complimentary or derogatory, I used to approve of all of them to be published. To me, it didn’t matter because there was nothing to hide and people could decipher for themselves what is right or wrong, true or false, whatever side to take or not. It’s like, nah, take it, this is me, as it is. But a friend advised me otherwise: “Why do you allow all the bad comments to be published? Don’t you know the papers will only pick out and focus on all the bad stuff? Take them down.” I thought for a while; and ever since then, I have done as I was told, more or less. “Why allow all these malicious and hurting comments the right to be published, especially when I have control over their “existence” in a way?” I thought to myself. Yes, take them down, don’t publish them, deny their existence, and no one will know about them right? Why make life so hard for yourself when it’s already hard enough?
Are we not content and comfortable to live in lies? After all, more often than not, isn’t the truth harder to swallow and causing some discomfort? The truth sometimes threatens the status quo which we are so comfortable in. And because some people who speak the truth rock the boat, they risk putting themselves in an endangered situation such that others seek to get rid of them. “In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.” — Orwell, George. Just that it could get you into trouble sometimes.
Now, I’m putting away some of the less justified and favourable comments. But really, I don’t wish to do so. I still really think honesty is the best policy and I want to live honestly. Allow us to.
Your example reminds me of my child’s video on utube. Thousands of viewers n positive n neg comments. But i nvr remove e latter cos i dun see e need. Viewers can judge n decide. I dun c e need to hide any comments.
Back to e topic…. I choose to be honest n shall remain straightforward yet genuine. I dun see e need to feign her n there or hide my true self. I am me!
aww , cheer up ! :P
if people leave nasty comments , its probably they’re jealous of you or smth .
just ignore them .
of course , honest is the best policy but when ppl take advantage of your kindness , you shouldn’t revealed their comments .
Of course, it’s only right to protect yourself, especially when you are in the limelight and due to public/media scrutiny.
After all, reputation is very important, especially in your line of work.
Some things that you don’t wish to reveal, it’s ok, not necessarily being dishonest. It’s called privacy.
Some things are better left unsaid. However, I still believe that honesty is the best policy, when possible. =)
Jesus told His disciples, “I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever; that is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not behold Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides with you, and will be in you” (John 14:16-17).
Happen to see this great quote. =)
Hahaha, I think this is life. But then again, truth to some may not be the truth to others as space and time differs:)
Honesty might not always be the best policy sometimes because sometimes have to take the risk to say it out,but if you feel is the right thing to do,then just go ahead.
Life is hard enough but some people wants to make the life even more hard,there is nothing we can do to them,except being yourself and do what is right,and had clear conscience and say out the truth,its all that matters.
If people don believe you or want to hurt you,then they are exactly the same as those people who likes to make people life difficult.They will have to pay high price for it in the future.
Follow your heart and always be honest,an honest life is priceless.
Hey you,
Everything is going to be ok! Don’t give up!
Charm and fame may pass, but it is one’s principle that will withstand time and tide!
Thank you for choosing to be honest. Thank you for being different from the rest! Gambate!!!
:)
Honesty is one of the many values that we are taught in school – we do not take what is not ours, we do not lie, we tell the truth and so on ….but as we grow older, we learn that “honest may not be the best policy” cos if we are “too honest”…we can be perceived as being critical, frank or at times stupid. So, we need to take judgement and say what is best for the situation without compromising our integrity. That’s life. When our girlfriend or wife is not that pretty on a particular day, do we dare to say so? haha…..
we like you the way you are, juz be yourself, as an elve i can understand wat you going thru, be strong n hapi my dear idol
Yeah, wearing our hearts on our sleeves. Lets try. If everyone did that, it’ll be a much easier world to live in. theres no need for second-guessing or honing of mind-reading skills. If we did that, we might offend everyone we know… but on the flip side, when we offer a compliment, they would know that it isn’t just a passing remark.
I guess, the real question to ask is, how does one express his/her genuine feelings to others without being demeaning, wrecking friendships and yet, still being able to go to sleep knowing that one has been authentic during our interaction with others. :)
Wise!! Bad, hurting, negative remarks do generate energy. The negative energy does harm. Wise choice really. By ceasing the negative energy, you are doing yourself a favor, as well as to the person!!
A person making bad comments, more often than not, he himself is in fact attracting negative energy.
Dear Elvin,
I can understand the dilemma that you are in… well I guess sometimes there is a difference between constructive feedback/helpful truth and negative unconstructive remarks that are meant to tear people down. Whatever mean remarks some people make says alot about them too. Just filter whatever you deem appropriate..:)
And just want you to know that we can see the hardwork and great attitude you have despite all odds, and your character in Breakout is really endearing!! :)
Been your fan since the beginning :) We will always be behind you cheering you on! :):)
Morning Elvin,
I like your truthfullness in the above opinion “Living Honestly”. I respected your frankness.
“living Honestly” is, I think the only way for achieving ‘Inner Peace’.
Have a nice day ahead.
Elvin,wish u can be strong n happy alway’s ….Gambateh!!^^
Support u=)
Hi Elvin, whatever makes you happy, then do it to make yourself happy. Honesty is not truly an issue here, imho; it’s how or what you want to do that is an issue here.
If you don’t really mind those unkind comments and it does not hurt you, then convince yourself to publish it, but work doubly hard to correct or turn all the unkind comments to praises from everyone. Ultimately, it’s you who needs to be and feel happy, not others. Remain strong in your conviction.
i agree fully with your friend. it logic.
i really really dont wish to give not so nice comment but it really so. i just hope you’ll understand that im not trying to candy code my words.i just hope you dont get in trouble with those people who are already trying to wait for a chance on you. why show the wound and let a chance to be picked..?
i will love to live in a world where it full of love, kindness and honesty. but thats a fairy tale. it doesnt work this way anymore.
elvin.. really.. some of the thoughs you just have to keep it to yourself or maybe the most share with just family and close friends. if you have to lie.. you have to. and hide emotions and thoughts are not being not honest.. it just you didnt say it. or take it as white lies.. you’ll feel better. it just in which way your gonna think of it.
everyone lies.. who don’t. so im glad theres still you stay strong to be honest.. makes the world alittle beautful. but real world is cold..
Well said. The world is unfair and everyone would only look at the bad sides of someone and neglect the good points of one.
Honesty is the best policy BUT that’s provided honesty builds and not tear others down. In all things, let us be honest but may the words of our mouth speak in love and not cause nail pierced wounds. For every hurtful words that come your way, may love, joy and peace soothe you and that blessings abound. Likewise, let us not cause hurt unto others for at the end of the day, we answer not to man but the Maker. Blessed Christmas! ^_^
I agree that for the 100001% efforts you put in, how remarkable are them. Just one tiny mistake, one tiny negative comment on it and everything u build up is gone. Esp the media who like to stirs up every single little bad thing they cld find to earn a living. =)
Honesty is the best policy but not always. When ppl takes you too granted then we shldn’t be too honest and too nice to them. ZJM is far too honest, innocent and naive that i have never came across in real life & totally fell in love with this role of urs. =)
Happy Holidays! see you during the countdown! =)
Hi, I just came across ur blog today. I enjoy reading ur view and thoughts…Allow me to share my view on this topic..Being honest potentially leads to situation change (to good), build up other’s spirit even if the comment can be “blunt” and unpleasant to ur ear. We(may not be everyone, but at least for me) need honest feedback from superior to improve ourselves, we need honest feedback of how we cook, how we look. Else, we are just living in lies and never ge to see our own “fault and flaws”…Just my 2 cents…=)
Cheer up Elvin! Bad is much more than good. Just ignore them. We – who really love you, will always side you and support you =)
Merry Christmas :) God will bless you all the time and wherever you go =)
hi elvin, i watched san cai yi tang earlier.. the sotong dish looks great!! Would like to share on your thoughts on yr first cooked meal?
HAPPY BDAE ELVIN! wishing u all the best in ur career in 2011!
Happy Birthday Elvin! It’s the 23rd of December! Btw I Juz watched 3 cai 1 tang yesterday n tot tat the sotong dish was delicious! Anyway, would u like to share ur tots on ur 1st cooked dish?
Happy Birthdayyy, Elvin! :D
Wish you all the best in your career and stay happy always!! Your acting in “Breakout” is really great! My friends and I really look forward to your scenes :D And we are already looking forward to your new show in May! Lastly, enjoy the festive seasons and enjoy your birthdayy!! :D
Dear Elvin,
On this special day, we just want to say Happy Birthday!
May success comes in your way in whatever u do.
Wishing u happiness & good health in the years to come.
Enjoy yourself on this special day! :)
Regards,
Melissa, Medeline, Adeline, Angeline & Emily.
Happy birthday!! :):)
Happy Birthday Elvin!!! ;)
Honestly, nobody is a perfect person, an actor also a human being, have their own strengths and weaknesses… blessed birthday to you Elvin!
hi :) i guess as long as your conscience is clear, it’s okie. we are just human afterall ? great acting for zjm role.. &rly great courage to cook on tv for e first time ^^
Happy Birthday Elvin! You’re doing great! :)
Happy Birthday to my idol! =)
Hello Elvin :)
I’m an avid reader of your blog but have never left my footprints here. I like how you put your thoughts/opinions across, they are really thought-provoking :)
On a side note, Happy Birthday! Here’s wishing you comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself & patience to accept the truth :)
Harlo…Elvin ng
paiseh belated wishes to u~
Happy Birthday to u..
Happy Birthday to u~
Happy Birthday to u~~
Happy Birthday to u..
Happy Blessed Birthday to u~^^
*May ur Dream come true“!!!! = )
Wishing u n ur family Merry X’mas n HaPpy NeW YeAr~~^^
Merry Christmas and happy new year Elvin!!
Hi Elvin,
Merry Christmas!!!
May the blessings of Christmas be with you today & always.
Wishing you a joyous & fun-filled Christmas. =)
Regards,
Melissa, Medeline, Adeline, Angeline & Emily.
Happy belated Birthday Elvin! :)
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!
may you live in bliss and happiness in 2011. :)
Hi Elvin
Are u back to Sg? How’s your white Christmas? Must be very enjoyable :)
Time passes very quickly. Christmas is over and new year is coming. Looking back…what I have done?
Unfulfilled dreams…I wan to accomplish…
Can I? Or isit too late?
Hugz
Wai Yee
Hi Elvin,
This is probably not really related to what is in our post, but i would like to say that you have done a pretty good job with your new show.
Truth to be told, i am not really a fan of you. Its largely due to the way you speak, In the past, even when you were acting as those suave guys in the show, i cringe when you speak because you have a very low voice and your expressions are weird and mismatched to your tone.
But, i have to say, You portrayed Zhou jie Ming really well. Those hand actions that Zhou Jie Ming kept doing. I think all those small little details that you care to add into the character defines the entire character all together.
keep up your good work!
Reality really hit us hard!
I also hope we can remain truthful after all these bad experiences. More importantly, i guess we have to be more positive! :)
Let’s jiayou!
No wonder people always say, “坏事传千里”
No matter how many good one does, it is often not recognised. But whenever a tiny mistake one does, it is spread to many so quickly. 好人真难做啊 :|
But i believe nobody is perfect right? We all have good and bad sides of ourselves. It is based on how we manage it on our own right.
One thing I know is that good is recognised by people who appreciates you.
YOU ARE APPRECIATED, ELVIN! :p
Merry belated christmas! LOL.
AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR! :)
XOXOXO!
With lots of love,
Yuting.
Hi Elvin, I always enjoy reading your blog. It really addresses the questions about humanity and offers room for contemplation. Like you, I’m an English Literature major. Just wondering, if you didn’t pick up an acting career, what would you like to be? Most people always find me impractical for wanting to be a writer.
Anyway, I didn’t know your birthday is a week or so ago, and although it’s really belated, still Happy Birthday :)
跑来说我们两句, 骂我们两句的人,
跑来谈谈他的想法 意见的人,
都是关心 关注我们的人.
好的坏的 正的反的 真的假的
oops, 怎么说起” 真的 假的 “来了?
Happy New Year Elvinology,Elves and Elvin!
I tink ur blog is super inspirational! Its kinda hard to show both ur good and bad sides in this shallow world coz ppl will judge u >< but nevertheless, i still agree w u dat living honestly is important, Kekeke ~ update more! (:
I think you have got an inspirational blog here. (:
your reflections are so thought-provoking, it’s pretty meaningful to blog about the lessons we all learn in life.
(:
Dear Elvin,
I was very happy and excited to see u for the first time ytd! The best gift for me on NYE. ^.^
Sad to c u injured your arm. Get well soon! I will always give u moral support. Hee.
Happy 2011! Stay happy and healthy. :P
get well soon! take care and have a great new year zhou jie ming!
Elvin,
Pls take care of yourself :)
Speedy recovery !!!!
If not, how to 开工 ?
Mr policeman ……
XOXO
Wai Yee
Omg! What happen to your arm?
Is it getting better now?
Do take good care of yourself.
Hope you will be well again soon! =)
Hello!
Just popping by to wish u a speedy recovery! Get well soon! :)
Get well soon Elvin!
I always belief in 雨过天晴.
Its really true that being too honest, we’ll get in trouble sometimes.But it might also hurt others feelings.Being honest is what you are.No one can change it and no one will.
popped by to tell u tat.. zou jieming is such a hit that even my 2 yr old nephew kept saying,”zou jieming, dont cry.”
gd one!
i love the character in your show! keep up the good work
zou jieming did you die in the end? no right?
i love zou jie ming, going to miss him
zou jieming is trending worldwide on twitter, peaked at no. 2 so far!
YOUR CHARACTER ZHOU JIE MING IS TRENDING ON TWITTER
Zou Jieming always makes me smile. Damn cute. My fave character. =D
zou jieming’s ending in Breakout is rather open-ended and I guess Mediacorp wants the viewers to decide for themself if zou jieming is dead or alive.
I think zou jieming is alive as Tang Ying watches him play the bagpipe at the last scene.
However, my hubby thinks that he is dead as it seems that he died on the way to hospital (he kept saying he’s cold and he wants to sleep). At the closing scene when Tang Ying offers flowers to Situ Dongcheng and Nianqing, she says that she’ll always remember zou jieming’s words. So, Tang Ying seeing zou jieming playing the bagpipe is probably just her memory of him. =(
Elvin! What are your views on this? =)
Honesty is the best policy. but it is not well accepted by many, We have to be selective when being honest. Way to go Elvin! i like your honesty. That is something so real and lacking in this world! Jiayou!
Speedy recovery! =)
zou jieming zou jieming zou jieming!
xiao ying xiang si ni le! :’(
zou jieming ni zai na li???
追看了’八频道’ ” 破天网 “.
Elvin 饰演的角色 ” 邹杰明 ” 使人忘记 Elvin.
一, 神似.
剧中给我留下深刻印象的是 ” 邹杰明的专注. ”
在每一个神态里, 在每一个动作中, 贯穿始终. 让人难以置信地 ” 神似 “! ( 虽然我们多数人并不了解 自闭 )
二, 形神兼备, 人物性格层次分明.
一句 ” 老爸 ” 是那样温暖人心, 令人动容.
剧中 ‘ 老爸 ‘ 与 邹杰明的片段, 把 ” 邹杰明的纯净 ” 发挥得淋漓尽致!
每次’ 老爸’ 温柔地扳过儿子的脸, 劝说儿子, ” 主人公 “回给老爸的 ” 对手戏 “, 令人联想起华人对 ” 儿子 ” 的独有 ” 情结 “. 这段父子情在邹杰明身上愈加显得珍贵. 和 老爸 老妈颇有默契的配合, 成就了一段感人的亲情故事.
” 他是坏人, 盯死他 !” 邹杰明挺身而出保护妹妹 朋友.
” 他是坏人, 小颖不可以和坏人在一起! ”
” 快快快, 不能走快了…! ”
让观众看到不同的人物侧面.
三, 运用感性的对白, ” 邹杰明的话 ” 突出人物形象, 把观众带入 “纯净 美好” 的 ” 邹杰明的世界”.
” 吃饭不说话, 说话不吃饭.”
” 人的脚是用来走路的.” ” 流汗是新陈代谢.”
” 根据 ‘来雅星’ 的历法…”
四, 人物性格过渡平稳.
聚光灯下 ” 邹杰明” 的形象 ” 清晰 明朗 “.
Elvin 再一次为我们承献了一个令人难忘的人物!
omg i chanced upon my fave artiste blog…! hehe : P
Integrity is paramount. Love your blog.