give me a second more
March 25, 2012if only for a short glimpse
just to say one more word
will you spare me a second more
he woke suddenly in my dream
he was alive, it felt real, it was real
i felt it was real
i got what i wished for
i said that was all i wished for
but i realised
it wasn’t about that second more
but everything that had come before it
still i felt
it was a second too short
give me a second more
will you
please
a second more
Dear Elvin,
Rest more and move on. I know it’s difficult to let go of your loved one, but you have to face reality. You wouldn’t want him to be worried, right?
Just remember the good times you had with him.
Hi Elvin, I know this is a difficult period for u right now, but continue to move on & pls take care. I am sure he does not want u to be too sad. He is always in ur heart. I will always pray for u & ur family. I will always stand by u. God bless.
Im glad ur writing again.
I feel ur pain.
I hope u regain.
Know that love is always there…
There’s always a time for something..
Now is the time to heal… to regain that strength.. to be able to be strong once more..
Its not gonna be easy if only u let it…
Time heals all wounds…
Just a matter of time…
Now u wait…
Though cant be there by ur side,
I wish u well… and know that ur not alone..
Pain will soon be washed away… hopefully soon…
Through pain we learn how to be stronger and to deal with it..
To learn to let go…
To learn to let go….
Easily said than done….
Just bear with it.. a little longer… a little more..
You are stronger than you think you are.
You can do it. I believe that you can.
http://serenity.egen.sg/view/100348
:)
this keeps me going.
There’s still a lot of bumpers in life awaiting u..Be strong & keep going no matter what happens..stay happy always~~fighting!!~~~
Dear Elvin, he will always be in ur heart. always and never gone. Always in you.
加油！
No one will be truly able understand the pain you are going through.
N we can only reply on ourselves to stand up once more.
He is living in your heart, that’s why it hurts so much.
Try writing letters to him, it will help. But don’t keep doing that, for you will realise, he won’t be happy if he knows you are sad all the time…
I truly understand how u feel right now. I just lost my loved one 3 days ago. It’s hard & even when everyone is telling u that time will heal or to move on, it’s really easier said than done. It will take time, probably a few years down the road. Be strong Elvin & for that, I too will try to be strong. Let’s face this together. Smile always.
If given a choice, he definitely would give u more than what u have asked for. He definitely would want to give u more than just a second. However, it’s just not within his means. It’s a difficult period for u now. May time heal your wounds.
其实你比我想象中更坚强
虽然有时候会想起而难过
我相信你一定能够熬过去
他永远都是你的守护神
在你的身旁永远的守护着你
为你开心 为你而骄傲
你说过的
你会和家人一起度过这个难关
我相信你一定能做到
加油
I know he’s now high up above looking after u & ur family with no pains & sufferings. Life’s really fragile & unpredictable. Memories are the best things one can ever have. Take care!
i understand what you are going through as i have gone through, and continue to go through the same feelings.
there are times when it seems so real and we want it to be real but eventually we’d have to face up to reality with the strength and courage we learnt from them.
some wounds might not totally heal but things will and do get better as we get used to dealing with these feelings.
it’s a journey of exploration and adaptation but rest assured you will always have the support of your family and those who love you.
take care, stay strong!
strength and courage learnt from our parents*
When is a person really gone?
When he is forgotten.
Your father lives in you; Never gone.
The love and memories you both have shared and will share, is timeless.
Hope to feel the happy you I’ve met soon. 加油.
=)
Elvin, chanced upon your blog. Spoken and took a picture with you once at swissotel helipad. Just want to give you my condolences. May you find the strength. Our loved ones live on in our hearts forever, it will not be long before we reunited with our loved ones… we are all heading the same direction.
Take care
Hey Elvin. I’ve decided to read your post as I chanced upon it on xinmsn. Hence thought that leaving you a message might help, :)
I know exactly how you feel. I’ve been there, done that. Instead, I lost my mom when I was much younger, at th age of 13. My brother and I haven’t always had th greatest of relationships with our dad. Mom has always been our everything. I’m definitely not lying when I claimed I know your pain.
However you know what? People come and go. Our parents will eventually leave us. It’s just a matter of time. I know it’s gonna be hard, but accept it. Life goes on, doesn’t it? Sure enough, allow yourself some time to grieve. However don’t take your time; time waits for no one. Aim to live well, happily healthily. I’m positive this is what your dad hopes to see of you.
I hope you will bring yourself together. Like th all smiley you I’ve coincidentally met at Bpp last year. Cheer up and take care! :)
And I’ll definitely love to hear your thoughts from you after reading all our comments. Stay strong! ^^
Stay strong Elvin! No matter where is he now, he is always in your heart.
He is always around, just like your guardian angel. When you are sad, he will be sad. When you are happy, he will be happy.
Take good care and move on.
I am sure he will let you dream of him again.You will always be in his heart.You will not be forgotten.
Be brave as I know he will blessed you and your family.Believe in him.
Although no words can really help to ease the loss you bear, just know that every thoughts & prayers are with you in your time of sorrow. Stay strong Elvin. He is in good hands now.
Hi elvin,
Took picture with you just now at Orchard central when you just finished your food while waiting for your photoshoot, remember? Well, I don’t know what to say to you (I lost for words) when I saw you just now. Wanted to encourage you. Anyway I will do it here.
Your dad must have wanted you to live the happiest life you could ever live. He will never want to see you so sad for long. Don’t let him worry for you in heaven! Sad for awhile and then get over it. Even he’s not physically with you, he lives in your heart. Just lock those precious memories you had with your dad in your heart.
Pleae be happy ok? Take good care of yourself. Stay strong (:
Press on Elvin…gotta be strong for those around you:) a person may leave us physically, but the memories will always be in our hearts:) may the LORD continue to comfort you and your loved ones:)
Hi, I chanced upon your post at xinmsn. The post touched me quite a bit so that prompted me to visit your blog.
I lost my mom a few months ago to cancer. The disease was very aggressive and the battle only lasted a mere few months. Although I’ve very supportive friends and have been mentally strong all these while, I do feel down most of the time and nothing seems to be able to brighten my day.
I guess it takes time to get back to “normal” life again.. Like what your lovely reader Agnes had shared, people come and go and life goes on.. So have to be patient and carry on with life, striding on positively!
与你共勉之，加油吧！
Hiie Elvin ! (: Juz a fan of yours. and I really love your role ( wolf) in unriddle 2. great job yea^^ stay cool and handsome foreva!~ :D
Hi Elvin,
Jia you!! Move on bravely. He will always be in your memories and a place in your heart..Just keep him in your heart and be happy. Being happy and moving on with steady steps in life, is always the greatest wish for all parents to their children..
So you must live happily while remembering his teachings, care, concern in your heart..
Remember, you are not alone, so be strong for the sake of the living ones (ones that you love dearly) and for your own sake too.
Life is too short to dwell over something for too long. Live happily for this life and be strong for yourself and people who need you..especially your family..
Just be strong. I don’t want you to be sad…
it is faith that brought me here to read your blog.
When my mama passed away 9 years ago.
I cried every night and my eyes swollen every morning.
I miss her alot.
I remember there was a time. I purchase joss papers and etc.. couldnt imagine a young boy buying joss paper. a nice lady owner came forward to ask me.
“may I know who you are buying to pay respect.”
I replied: “for my mama”
my heart break apart……………..
lets time heal the pain.
now… I still miss her. I will cried. I feel she is in my heart. love mama.
My dad passed away from I’m in primary 6. The pain of lost is still within me. But whats important is to treasure the ones thats around you now :) Your eyes are not meant for frowning.
生死都是我们要面对的事情。失去自己所爱的人的确让人心痛和不舍的， 但如果一直都放不下，就很难让他人走的安心。就算多不舍，多痛。。。过了一段时间也要收拾好心情，勇敢的继续生命的旅途。 每当失去身边的亲人，就要记得这一生很宝贵得来不易，要认真生活和更加珍惜身边的人。
He will live on in your heart <3. Take care :)
While it is not easy to let go, let us see from a positive side that your beloved dad is ‘free from suffering’.
While it is not easy to forget, i am sure he lives in your heart always.
While it is easier said, your pain and agony is in you, and you have to be the one, to pick yourself up, and move on in life.
While our condolences are with you, our hearts are with you too …to support you through these tough times.
It takes time, a long time.
Be strong.
加油，永远支持你。
加油！Continue to live as who you are and let him be your motivation ^^
He is never gone. He will always be in your heart for as long as you breath. Continue to live and be happy. Always be kind and strong. You know you can.
Dear Elvin,
Here’s a short story to share with u…
“A wise man once sat in the audience & cracked a joke. All laughed like crazy. After a moment, he cracked the same joke again and lesser people laughed this time. He repeated the same joke again & again. When there was no laughter in the crowd, he smiled and said, “When u can’t laugh at the same joke again & again, then why do u cry over the same thing again & again? We have to learn to let go & get on with life.”
Coping with the grief of losing a beloved family member is certainly not easy. I can feel the pain u are going through & I understand how much it hurts. Nevertheless, for the sake of yourself, your family & your loved ones, u have to pick yourself up & move on.
Well done for “Unriddle 2″ & looking forward to your next drama.
hey elvin, i understand what’s it like to lose someone you love so much..i lost my dad 2 years ago and am still coping with the loss and emptiness i felt as a teenager. i realised that losing a loved one is not the end of the world; it’s a liberation for them not to suffer anymore here on earth and that they’re in a better place now:)
Jia you, okay? don’t give up on yourself, you have a bright future ahead of you!
hello elvin! my thoughts are with you. i’ve been reading about your news and i know you are feeling sad bout the loss of your father. i understand how you feel cos i too lost my dad many years ago. i need to take charge of the family too cos i’m the eldest child. i totally understand how you feel. i still do miss my dad now and i know it’s hard to believe it when people say time will heal the pain. cos i still do cry when i think of my dad though it has been many years. but i really hope you will pick yourself up and live a better life now cos your dad is watching over you now and he always lives in your heart, forever. after crying, i will pick myself up and carry on with my life. and i believe you, elvin, can do it too!:)
many jiayoussssss for you elvin! JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU!!!!!!:)
your supporter always:)
please carry on with faith <3
Face it, carry on with life. You will grow stronger … You know your family and your fans will be with you …
I cannot imagine how you felt nor what you went through during those 2 weeks where all you needed was to be allowed to grief for the death of your father but instead you pushed on to meet the demands of your career. Watching you on YouTube talking about the passing of your father was… touching (for lack of a better word). The pain in your eyes, the little pauses you took to get a hold of your emotions, your voice breaking ever so slightly….
I don’t believe that the pain will get any less with time, I only believe that we will have better control of it with every recollection. It’s been 8 years since I lost my grandmother and I still remember how I felt when I held her hand till it went rigid. My last words to her will always be my biggest regret. I can never take them back but I’ve learnt to embrace my pain and regret and burn them as fuel for my journey. I’ve become a better person, even if only I see or feel it.
I’m sure your father will come to you in your dreams and you won’t just have only a second more.
“When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”
hi elvin, my friend shared this song with me when i miss my dad. i would like to share this song with you too. it is a very nice song. it’s called ‘dance with my father’ by Luther Vandross. here is the url link to the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESjlmnY4pGw
remember, your dad is watching over you and your family now and HE ALWAYS LIVES IN YOUR HEARTS :)
please take care of yourself and your family. i believe you can do it! :)
jiayou jiayou jiayou elvin!:)
your supporter always:)
Stay strong Elvin!!! Your dad will want to see you happy and successful in life. Don’t let him be worried.
remember your fans are by your side…
Hi! May the Lord give you peace and heal your heartache soon. It is a painful loss and you need time.
Always remembering you as the cheerful bright lit student with the cheeky grin.
Regards,
juliana ang
When a loved one has departed, and you want to find him. Do not look for him in the places you used to go to together. Look for him in the places you planned to go to together.
Hi Elvin..
It’s really sad that death even has to occur to anyone at all. I cried for a whole week when my only sibling died. She was my twin, we were only 11 back then and it was just 3 weeks before our birthday, and Mum and Dad had a really great party planned out for us, and… I mean.. It’s really hard for me to adapt to life without her, even now, after 3 long years.. We all miss her dearly, it’s like a huge part of the family is gone, in fact it’s a huge part of me that’s gone.. But I’m sure she wouldn’t want to see us so upset and unable to carry on in life, and neither would your dad.. Anyway stay happy okay.? Don’t think too much.. Let time heal your broken heart.. Smile.! :)
Your fan YJ
Dear Elvin, I do not know you except your drama. When I read your statement, I can feel your saddness. Cry if you want. But be happy after that as happiness is what every parent would like to see in his child’s eyes.
Hope to see your cheerful smile in the coming star award event. Love your flashing white teeth :)
Take care, Elvin. Your father lives as you do.
Hi Elvin :
Just remember you are not the only one that lost your love one. There are many like you, felt so lost, empty when they lost their love ones. I had experienced these feelings when I was only 9 years old, and 15 years back, I lost my dad too. Only then, I had changed my mindset about life. Nothing can be more happy spending quality times with your love ones, those good old and happy memories are still so strong in my mind. Yes, like others say, try to let go, be happy, stay healthy, look forward to your new future. I believe these are the best to repay back to our parents. They or rather he/she, would want us/you to be happy. Lets keep the best times we had with our love ones in our hearts. I am sure you can do it, so live happily from now on !
hey alvin,even though i duuno u but i know u throught the tv,i just wanna say that life have up and down.some people saying that u should move on and be strong but this is not an easy task.all i can say is that i wish u can overcome this obstacles asap and get back on your feet .just rmb the good times u had wth your love ones and it is enough.he will know that you are a filial son,he knows it.look foward to the future for u have many things waiting ahead for u to be enjoy.i wish u luck in getting the star awards which is coming soon.:)
You are meant for bigger things Elvin.
Bring Singapore entertainment to the world arena like how Korea did. Being emotional will not bring one anywhere.
Do your father proud.
You are meant for bigger things.
Do Singapore proud.
Only when you learn how to let go, you will fly and free yourself of worldly distraction.
You are strong. Your father will be proud of you.
Wish u all the best and gd luck in Star Awards 2012! No matter wat, we know u did your best le. Jia you! ^.^
Elvin,
Stay strong as life still need to goes on,sometime it’s easily say then done. But that’s life,we still have to face it. Hope that your career & life will be smooth & beautiful. Long way ahead.. Jia you!
Regards,
Bel (Ex-Figos)
feels the pain in the words.
you see, yet we take a sec for granted every sec of the day.
we have alot of regrets in life. if we see all as it, how would one be happy?
no regret or bad experience is ever bad or wasted as it lets you learn and understand for the future. it will only be if you don’t.
that missing sec, will turn all you’re rest of the sec much more loved for the love ones beside you now. don’t you agree?
Hi Elvin,
We have confidence in you.
Stay strong, take good care of your health and be safe.
God Bless .
Ruby Tan
To be strong and move on at times like this is easier said than done. Just know that we are all human, we all can feel and sometimes, we cant help how we feel. Don’t suppress your feelings cause it’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to cry. It’s only when you can face up to your true feelings that you can really move on.
You once mentioned in your blog, “But even if the world around you is dark, inside of you there is a shining spark. Never lose that shining spark.” I hope that as you attempt to move on, you never lose that shining spark.
Jiayou! :D
I know you need time but please try…. I did it, and I want to make sure that soon one day you’ll post something nice here saying ”YES, I did it”!
http://www.lolroflmao.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/pick-self-up-carry-on-orange.jpg
Your family and you, will be blessed wherever you go.
Hi Elvin , I’m your fan here . I read the article above and noticed that I have also a similar experience too . I lost my maternal grandfather last year and felt that everything happened so fast . From the hospitalisation to the funeral , everything happened in just a week or so . I felt that he left my family too quickly and I’m sure he’ll always be with us . Likewise , I’m sure your loved one will always be by your side even though you can’t see him . I sincerely pray for you and your family to look at the bright side , knowing that he’ll look over you and your family and keep you guys safe :)
Hi Elvin,
I saw the news about your dad. Had an impression that your dad was quite young. My first thought was “just losing someone close only, few days later you will be fine” Unfortunately few weeks later, my dad passed away too. He was only 52. He lived alone because he was seperated from my mother. he was found dead at home and left to decomposed. My siblings are too shocked but we know whatever we do is too late to amend.
It was not easy especially you keep thinking about your dad all the time. Be it the moments tha you argue with him, eat with him. What we have now are memories. The way i made myself happy is to convince myself that by living this world, they lead a better life in another world. So do not be too upset for long. Life still goes on……
It’s so near yet so far. But it’s just like what you’ve said…
“When you own something, you are already beginning to lose it.”
“When you no longer fear losing, that’s when you have truly owned.”
Love’s like that, career’s like that, fame’s like that, life’s like that too.
Now he stays in your heart. My friend used to tell me that I am a very “tangible” person, need to really see and touch it in order to feel it. And she said I should learn to be more “intangible”. That is, to learn to remember and keep it in my memory, that once they were there before, and the time we spent together, I will always remember.
After all, he didn’t leave entirely.. He still stays in your heart, as well as the rest of your family members.
Hi Elvin,
I chanced upon your blog just now, and would just like to leave some comforting words for you.
I know it is very hard to lose a parent, as I lost my dad 5 years ago. At that time, I couldn’t even fly back to Singapore to witness his last breathe, as I was doing my Professional Law exams. I attended his funeral and wake, trying to hold a strong front (of course that was after my exams). After that, went back to the UK, to complete another Law course (though my mom begged me not to go back), but I told my mom that I definitely would try my best to complete the course as that was my dad’s last wish of me. I tried to suppress the feeling of grief in that one year, and as a result, did not do well in the exams, and had to spend another year redoing some subjects of the exams.
2 years after the passing away of my dad, I returned to Singapore, and only then I realised that I was not dealing with the grief very well. As I attend church (still am attending church), told my problems to the senior pastor at church, and he referred me to the church counsellor. I am still seeing my church counsellor to deal with the grief and other personal issues.
Just like you, I dreamed of my dad a lot, and sometimes I wake up, thinking that this is not real. But I always picked myself back up again and moved on again.
I know that my dad is now my guardian angel in heaven above, looking after my mom, myself and the rest of my family members.
Stay strong as your dad would want you to be strong too. I know this is hard. Just like me, 5 years later, I still visit my dad almost weekly (on Saturday), at Choa Chu Gang christian cemetery, as that is where he is buried. I go with my mom every Saturday if she is in town. But occasionally, I also told my mom that I do not want to go, and it is okay with my mom, so I know that I have started to try to move on. As for my mom, she isn’t ready to move on yet. I don’t blame her, as she was married to my dad for 32 years, and just before my dad fell into a coma, he was still a very lively person. So whenever my mom is in town now, my husband and I try to spend more time with my mom.
And yes, life is short and unpredictable, and so we must treasure every moment that we have with our loved ones, so as not to regret it in the future.
I feel your grief. I had a similar experience. She felt so real too.
I must say you write really well.