“the small fishing boat
no longer interested in floating on the high seas
finally finds itself a harbour”
is the same as
“the small fishing boat
because having found itself a harbour
now rows out again into open waters”
into the unknown
into previously uncharted territory.
what brand new world presents itself?
what exciting new possibilities?
what new lease of life?
into uncharted territory.
what gives it the courage?
will it?
i feel yes.
“Only history is infinite.” And that’s because our past, our story, our memories stay with us forever, thus infinitely with us and never taken away from us. Only what has happened can be said to have taken place and hence eternal because it cannot be undone.
Well… the future is also infinite, I think, with promise, potential, and possibilities. And perhaps even more so. By virtue of its limitlessness and mobile boundaries.
So not “only history is infinite”.
At the end of the day, they say all things come to an end, but it doesn’t then mean that all things cannot be infinite.
All things may come to an end… but all things are infinite.
The future is a continuation of history. Our future lies in our own hands, and in good hands too. To create infinity, to cross this side to the other side of the hill and then to the next, to bring together what was and what will be, what has come and what is to come…
Now, the existing moment, the feelings you feel, the decisions you make, is key.
“He’s usually a very pessimistic person.”
“But he said he’d never seen better cards in his life.”
I’m not a superstitious person but I’m very happy to hear it and even happier that everything that has been going on seems to reaffirm it. And somehow, I want to believe it.
Does belief reinforce reality or does reality reinforce belief? In this case, I think both. And that’s what makes it so believable, or unbelievable.
You know what? Actually, I think I believe it.
To me, Bali was a magical place that made me want to believe in magic, in spirits, and in all things irrational, should I say, again. All flora and fauna and spirits in perfect harmony, the natural order of things. A peacefulness, a solitude in the heart of the rainforest never experienced before. The sound and smell of rain adding to the lush and rich vegetation. Imagine waking up to this everyday. How could anyone settle for anything less?
I want to believe in all things magical and irrational. Again.
“I’m not here to be credible. I’m here to be incredible.”
Interesting… I never thought about it that way… =)
Do I need you to believe me? Do I live in your eyes? Or is there… a bigger mission.
are we the controllers of our destiny? is it really down to choice?
do we choose to be happy? do we choose to be sad? or are we just happy or sad?
do we choose when it comes to freedom? do we choose when it comes to love? can we choose?
do we choose to feel a certain way or do we just feel?
how much of it is a conscious decision? how much of it not?
choice is a deliberate and detached action; feeling is raw
is it really down to choice? or is there something beyond? something greater?
many things in life, you have a choice, you can choose
but some things in life have already been chosen for you, you can’t choose
you accept your lot, you follow the plan, because it feels right
choose what is right for you
& the only way to choose what is right, is more often than not, to follow your heart
in life
some things you have a choice
some things you have not
destiny or controllers of our destiny?
we are both.
Haven’t been writing. Loads to get off my chest. Lots of areas to cover. The reason I haven’t been writing being a piece of advice having an adverse effect on me — that words are just words, ultimately limited, that everyone has their own opinions, anyone can say anything. Devalued, I lost the belief and fervour I had, whether it was with what I said or what I wrote or just simply in myself; I felt desensitised. I was told, let your actions speak for you; now I would say no, words and actions co-exist mutually to back up each other. To deprive a word or writing the sincerity, intimacy, purity of intention, individuality, and unique voice it tries to convey is the other end of giving too much importance to it. & in a similar vein, an actor can be deemed as much a clown, a fool, a jester as he is a star, a popular figure; from as lowly as adding no economic value whatsoever to society to as highly as bringing simple happiness to the stressed masses. & whatever judgement is placed by anyone, it does not add on to or remove from its intrinsic character or role or value.
A lot of times, we might have been too caught up with trying to express ourselves; perhaps we’re free to do so, just not so freely. But really, I don’t wish to be cynical again, to doubt, to suspect, to not trust, to negate, people and life; I would very much rather give benefit of doubt, trust fully aware that the trust may be breached, believe with hope that it influences rather than diminishes, to trust when it’s prone to suspect, to believe when it’s easier to doubt. Well, at least it’s easier for the self, I think. I remember a line from a favourite character of mine, the “Clown”, in the movie The Dark Knight; he said, “Introduce a little anarchy into your life.” Sometimes, get out of that comfort zone, do things a little differently, question and challenge certain establishments. Sometimes, life is defined not only by what you have seen but what you have not seen and not only where you have been but where you have not been.
When the supposedly rational throws caution to the wind, and the spontaneous stops a moment to ponder, what comes out of it? A friend once told me, the way it plays out, “sometimes, real life can be stranger than fiction”. I agree with that.
New impetus.
I want to feel the senses and breathe the air again.
I want to live again.
I want to trust again.
I want to believe again.
Will you let me?
We’ve heard about the starfish story. If there were many starfish stranded on the beach, why would you bother to throw them back into the water since you probably can’t save all of them? Well, at least you know, to each starfish that you threw back into the water, you made a difference, and that’s enough.
Be it a sincere greeting or a genuine smile, be it a simple helping hand or a pat on the back “well done”, or be it five minutes of your time or some encouraging words… If you can make a difference, just for that instance, that moment, to someone else’s day, a stranger, or a loved one, or a friend, that’s good enough.
We often hear that one person cannot change the world. Yes, you can’t change the world. You can’t control what goes on around you. But you know what you want and can do. If you want justice, live justly; if you want equality, live equally; if you want happiness, live happily. Don’t expect it of others; live it; be it. That’s the one, perhaps only, but best, thing you can do; and then who said you can’t change the world?
“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” — Gandhi, Mohandas.
I was told:
“Consider a cup. It’s strange that what makes it really useful as a cup is not the cup itself or the material it is made of but the empty space within it. Consider a house. It’s strange that it is the empty space enclosed by the brick or wooden structure that people actually live in.”
This shows that “What is present is necessary; what is not is essential.”
Not just the flesh, but the spirit.
Not just the body, but the soul.
Not only the maths and sciences, but the arts and literature.
Not only without, but within.
Not just what can be seen, but what cannot.
Not just what is spoken, but what is not.
Not just what is present, but what is not.
“I want to share something with you today. I want to talk about the principle of sharing. It is the basis and basic principle of human existence. Sharing brings you the experience of joy.”
“Our parents shared their love for us to be here.”
“Your mother shared her body with you for nine months…”
Well, maybe not wealth, that’s a sensitive subject, but to share love, that’s something greater and worthier.
I was touched by the speech. Even more so by the effort to influence in a positive way and to share joy and love given the platform. Because he didn’t need to do so. In a time when many others would choose to do otherwise and concentrate on themselves.
Given the platform, I hope to do it the same way. Because there is something greater and beyond the everyday, what we see and do, than just a job.
“You’re bilingual!”
“You too! You manage to use both English and Mandarin to complete a sentence!”
“I can put in the dialects too,” proudly.
I can’t believe these people. Such a sense of humour. I had a great laugh.
To be able to put in a correct mix of two languages (or more) so as to communicate your message across in the most effective manner. That’s effectively bilingual for you. What a wonderful talent unique to many of us. Now, we need to learn the appropriate time and place to display our unique talent. & when not to. =)
For a while now. Silence.
All quiet on the brazen front. Not sure if the teeming emotions underneath the self-imposed exile managed to be translated into a form of gracious, composed solitude, rejuvenation. Amidst all the hustle and bustle of feeling being wronged or maligned or accused.
A fortnight ago, I wrote an open letter in my blog hoping to address some issues as objectively as I could to all whom-it-may-concern. Halfway it was written. I stopped. Reluctantly. Now locked away in the locker, the dark room so to say, never to see daylight. “Whom-may-it-concern?” now I ask myself, pardon the cynical laugh.
I was told: “What you write will always be subjective or viewed as subjective, no matter how objective you try to be. People who stand by you will continue to do so and people who stand against you will always have a reason to do so regardless what you say or do so why say or do anything more?”
“Words are powerful; they can manipulate or coerce; but at the end of the day, words are just words, ultimately limited in power. Yours against mine, anyone can say anything. Let your actions speak for you. Let others speak for you if they wish to.”
Unfortunately, your voice is always going to be subjective and hence less credibly regarded though possibly more well-informed.
It’s just the feeling of being wronged or maligned or accused or some form of injustice I didn’t like which I couldn’t come to terms with. I’ll live with it.
Silence. For a while now.
“I’m happiest at this point in my life.” “Never been happier.”
A friend who has been asking me this question “Are you happy?” in recent years reminded me that I have been giving her the same answer to this question for a long time now. “Are you really happy?” “Or do you wish to be happy?” she asked.
I didn’t realise I had been giving the same answer for years now. “Yes, I think I’m really happy.” “At each point that you asked me, I was really happiest at that point.” A slight pause. “Perhaps also, it’s the wish to be happy.” “But does it matter?” All I know is I’m quite sure I was the happiest at each of those points.
“Perhaps it’s the desire, the determination to make things better each time. That today is better than yesterday and tomorrow will be better than today. That each time in your life, you’re better off, not worse off. That you’re happier.”
Mohandas Ghandi once said: “A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes.”
The next time someone asks you which point of your life you would want to go back to because you were the happiest, say “Now. The present.” Because each step that you had taken brought you here.
The next time someone asks you, “How are you?”
Say “I’m happiest at this point in my life.” “Never been happier.” =)
